4 Practices for Embracing Uncertainty

All of us have been faced with the discomfort of uncertainty in the last year. Trying to adapt in the context of a global pandemic, political unrest, illness, job loss, family breakdown, and isolation is distressing. Even for those of us with the privilege, good fortune, and resources to weather this storm, it’s been rough. With so much out of our control, how we respond is the only choice we have.

Over the last year, I’ve observed two types of coping. On one end, those wishing the pandemic away, waiting for this nightmare to be over, and getting by in survival mode. This is a normal reaction and maybe even required depending on the circumstance.  However, staying in fear-based responses such as avoidance over many months doesn’t remove the uncertainty. Individuals who stay too long in survival mode tend to get stuck. 

On the other end of coping, is the choice is to see if you can become friends with uncertainty, accept that it’s here, and be creative about not only surviving, but thriving.  Embracing uncertainty is freedom because it opens up choices. Presently, getting comfortable with discomfort is required for mental wellbeing. According to Seth Godin in his book The Icarus Deception: How High Will You Fly? expanding your comfort zone, is the new safety, “If you become someone who is uncomfortable unless she is creating change, restless if things are standing still, and disappointed if you haven’t failed recently, you’ve figured out how to become comfortable with the behaviours most likely to make you safe going forward.”

An opportunity mindset is what propels us onward. It takes practice through action. Anyone who is willing to feel uncomfortable can learn and evolve. If you’re not willing, you will likely stay in the pain of status quo. 

Here are 4 practices for embracing the discomfort of uncertainty the world demands of you: 

1.    Develop a Positive Problem Orientation 

Most people don’t like problems, especially those with generalized anxiety. If you struggle with anxiety, you’re probably really good at seeing uncertainty right away, reacting to it, and focusing on all the bad things that could happen. You may doubt your ability to solve problems or doubt that a good solution is even possible. This is referred to as negative problem orientation. 

If you want a more positive orientation to problems, ask yourself, how am I reacting to this problem emotionally, cognitively, and behaviourally?  It is normal to feel frustrated, anxious, or discouraged when a problem arises, to tell yourself you can’t deal with it, and to want to run or pull the sheets over your head and press snooze. Acknowledging your stress responses allows you to see the opportunities versus the threats, brainstorm ideas, and make decisions.

2.    Do Uncertainty Experiments 

This evidence-based practice comes from exposure therapy and the universal truth that what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. You have to face the things that scare you by doing the opposite of what you would normally do. 

I had a client who would look for the exits in every room and bolt out of meetings to escape when she felt panicky. She put a lot of energy into planning different routes so she felt safer, which impacted her focus, engagement her with team and customers, and ultimately her career advancement.  After months of working through graded Fear Ladders, anxiety reduced significantly. She was freer to fully participate at work, increasing her confidence for future challenges. 

Exposure therapy requires individualized treatment from a trained professional and a lot of courage on the part of the client. However, we can take the concept of “uncertainty experiments” and apply it to daily life by doing one thing every day that scares you, within reason, and gradually expanding your comfort zone with success. Experiments can be anything from sharing your idea at your next team meeting to seeing what happens if you arrive on time instead of 30 minutes early.

3.    Make Mistakes

Leaping into uncertainty means taking some risks. I know, I cringe too. I’m not a risk-taker. I grew up in the “play it safe zone” to prevent “bad” outcomes such as embarrassment, regret, and failure. 

For many of us, getting more comfortable with uncertainty means overcoming perfectionism. I’m not talking about striving for excellence. Putting in your best effort is important in life. There is nothing wrong with high standards…as long as you’re not expecting too much of yourself at once. 

Research shows that perfectionism becomes a concern when you fear making mistakes, fear you’ll be judged by others, and when you almost never meet your own expectations and turn to damaging self-criticism. In this context, perfectionism is linked to workaholism and burnout, thereby reducing productivity and work satisfaction (the very thing perfectionists are trying to avoid! Stober & Damian, 2016). 

Perfectionism is often rooted in the “I’m not good enough” belief, which triggers overcompensating behaviours in order to prove one’s self-worth. Perfectionism can look like: staying up all night to finish a project, obsessing over minor details, checking and rechecking, making sure you do everything yourself to be sure it’s done “right”, or procrastination (do it right or don’t do it at all).

Giving yourself permission to make mistakes gives you the freedom to be human. So how can you embrace the discomfort of making mistakes if you’re a perfectionist? Practice progress, not perfection. Progress means you’re never done because the challenges continue and you want to be a lifelong learner.  

4.    Lead

Managing uncertainty is a key leadership skill.  It is possible to feel overwhelmed and simultaneously bring your strengths and ideas forward to better serve your clients? Fortunately, there’s no shortage of inspiring content available to those of us who want to be better leaders (Brené Brown Dare to Lead Podcast is a good place to start).

What opportunity do you see on your team and how can you lead the way? It doesn’t have to mean more work. There’s no guarantee your idea will be well received, but you never know who might resonate with it. You’d be surprised how even a simple question can generate creative solutions from others.

Of course, not everyone wants to be a leader and that’s okay. Being your own leader simply means following through on your personal and professional commitments, especially when it gets difficult. Prioritizing your wellness and seeking peer support are essential ingredients for success.

Remember, we’re not trying to get rid of uncertainty. That’s a futile exercise. We’re learning how to be more flexible, see the opportunities, and have the courage to try a different way, in a time when the only constant is change. 

If you’re interested in embracing discomfort in your life, register here for the next free POWER HOUR workshop on February 16th at 12-1 pm. I’ll walk you through the steps for creating your own uncertainty experiments and more!