Intro to Balance: Start Where You Are
When I had an office job and the kids were younger, I spent a lot of time and energy pushing through the daily grind. My typical weekday looked like this:
5:00 – rise, shower, dress, make-up
6:00 – wake the kids (sometimes 2 or 3 times!), make breakfast and lunches
7:00 – leave the house, panic when my daughter had a meltdown about getting her outdoor clothes on, sometimes we both ended up in tears
7:25 - daycare drop off
7:35 - before school drop off
8:00 – arrive at the office, emails, prep for the day, meeting
9:00-12:00 – clients
12:00 - bolt to the gym for a quick workout, eat my lunch behind the wheel on the way back to the office. If it wasn’t the gym, there were errands to run. Or if I was anxious about being behind, I’d have a working lunch at my desk.
13:00-16:00 - clients
16:15 – rush out the office
16:40 - after school pick-up
16:50 – daycare pick-up, have snacks ready in the car to prevent child hanger!
17:30 – whip up dinner according to the weekly meal plan while the kids claw at the pantry for more snacks
18:00 - family dinner, tell the kids to stay seated x10
18:20 - clean up and throw a load of laundry in
18:30 - kid’s extra-curricular
19:00 – bath, bedtime stories and cuddles
20:00 - more work or chores
22:00 – bedtime or keep working into the night to meet a deadline
Next day – rinse and repeat
I’m exhausted just writing about it! I was completely invested in doing all the right things, yet I still felt behind. Several people told me, “You make it look easy”. But inside I felt overwhelmed, resentful, and guilty for throwing a fit every time I reached my boiling point.
Eventually, I turned on myself. I believed I was failing at everything. Frustrated and bewildered, I’d say, “Why can’t I just suck it up, stop complaining and keep doing what other working moms do?”.
Simply put – because I didn’t want to. I no longer wanted to run from one task to another “getting shit done”. This was modelled to me in childhood and is so deeply ingrained in our hustle culture. Figuring out ways to be more successful wasn’t the solution for me. I came to realize I needed to stop pushing and start pulling in more of what I needed if I was going to be more relaxed, joyful, and balanced.
I started to take pauses in my day - a few breaths in between clients, before a meeting, or walking from my driveway to the front door. These pauses created space to simply be. I found peace and freedom to make choices when I checked in with my body and thoughts throughout the day.
I reflected on what was truly important to me and what was possible if I gave myself permission to let go of the “shoulds”.
I started to change how I spent my time. I asked my boss if I could reduce to part-time hours, which I was both privileged and scared to do because it challenged my identity and financial security. Slowly, I transitioned to private practice for more autonomy, flexibility, and creative expression.
Now I’m intentional about what goes in my calendar. When I sense a work request is out of alignment for me, I say no rather than struggle needlessly for months or years. Then, much to my delight, the right opportunity usually follows because I made space for what I truly wanted.
I still have kids to take care of. I still get caught up in doing. I still get overwhelmed. The difference is I’m more aware of my reactions and I can usually return to balance sooner using the well-researched practices I’ve learned over the years.
If you too want to get off the hamster wheel and handle stress better at work or as soon as you open your eyes in the morning, join me virtually or in-person at Magnolia Wellness on March 30 at 6:30 pm for Intro to Balance: Start Where You Are. In this 90-minute workshop, I’ll guide you through:
In-the-moment mindfulness and breathing techniques you can start using right away to interrupt the stress response
An introduction to my 3 P’s to Balance: Pause, Perspective, Permission so you can know what you need, drop the “shoulds”, and take action to nourish yourself and be your best for others
This workshop includes a 25% Off Promo Code to a new and exciting 3 P’s to Balance Series I’m launching on April 20, May 4, and May 18. We’ll take a deeper dive into the tangible steps you can take to bring more peace and choice into your life. Stay tuned for more details!